Feeling, Opinion and Reality

LI:  If a person is trapped in an escape room for hours and can't escape.  He says 'he feels his only option is to destroy the room'.  Is that his feeling, or is that his opinion?  Does that reflect reality?

VAL:  I guess you are saying the escape room does have a way out.  But if the person feels his only option is to destroy the room, then that is his reality.

LI:  The person says 'he feels his only option is to destroy the room'.  This statement includes his feeling and opinion.  He feels he is trapped and confused.  Then he forms an opinion that there is no way out.  Based on false belief, the person concludes he needs to destroy the room.  His opinion is wrong though. There is a way out.

VAL:  OK.  I accept the reality is that there is a way out of the room.  However, if the person feels the outside world is still a prison, then isn't it true that his only option is to destroy the room?

LI:   Destroying the room does not make the world better, it makes it worse.  If the person feels the outside world is a prison, then by destroying the room, he creates chaos, but he will still feel trapped. 

VAL:  The person may believe that by creating more chaos, the people in power will change the world for the better.

LI:  There are others who do not share the feelings of that person though.  Those people may feel the world is a paradise and not a prison.  The person, by creating chaos, is destroying other people's paradise.  If the world is changed to what the person wants, then other people are entitled to do the same and the vicious cycle continues.  Therefore, by conflating feeling, opinion and reality, and by resorting to destruction as the way to change things, is a recipe for chaos.

VAL:  Can we separate feeling, opinion and reality?

LI:  For the situation of the escape room, the physical reality is that there is in fact an escape route.  People should recognise that it is natural that we can feel trapped and confused at times.  However, we need to gather facts, look at the evidence, and rationally determine what is real and what action, if any, should be taken.

VAL:  What if the person cannot trust the 'facts', nor can he accept what experts say, or the experts disagree?  Aren't there situations that the person has to rely on his feelings?

LI:  People should recognise that when reality cannot be determined objectively, there are other people who may feel differently about the situation.   People should accept that they do not know the reality in that situation.

VAL:  I agree that there are many things that we do not know; and feelings can be misleading.  A good salesperson can make us feel good and buy a terrible used car.

LI:  I hope more people recognise feelings can be misleading; whereas opinions and actions based on evidence and rational analysis of reality are much more likely to be correct.


Note:  This is a fictional dialogue.  Val and Li are fictional characters.  Val migrated to Australia some years ago but returned to Hong Kong last year.  She lives in Hong Kong now and visits Australia occasionally.  Li was a former resident of Hong Kong but makes Melbourne his home now.  Photos are by Andrik Langfield and Leon Liu on Unsplash.